THE WHITE COATS by Kathan Murphy

There are deep holes in the gates of my mind. 

Delusions and hallucinations sneaking through; 
Causing me fear and pain. 
Please something help me through. 
Black figures with sticky hands and feet crawling around me and creeping in. 
They are here to take me away. 
I have to fight them! 
But how? 
The thoughts consume me chipping away at my inner soul wearing me down. 
I am sick of fighting. 
The black figures turn into doctors in white coats. 
They tie me down repeating my trauma and stick me with a needle. 
I am no longer a human but an animal barely existing behind locked doors. 
Life is no longer worth living.

-Kathan Murphy

AT THE CRACK OF DAWN by Kathan Murphy

I have never seen the crack of dawn.

My meds make me sleep too long.

My sheets and blankets are so warm I could sleep through a party at a loud college dorm.

Clozaril is my nightmare best friend but my madness is on the mend.

I am strong but unfortunately sick.

I try hard to make the best of it.

This illness is tough but I am tougher.

One day I would like to take a job offer.

People said that I would never leave the hospital but I proved them wrong.

No one is allowed to right the lyrics of my song.

I left Massachusetts to start a new life.

Maybe here I will make a good mother or wife.

Moving to Chicago was the right choice.

Here is where I will find my own voice.

 

                                                                                           -Kathan Murphy

MY CHILD WITHIN by Sharon H.

I am here
        I am there
lost within
     a bad memory,
   feel the pain
the same
       as when four years old.
holding my breath
      staying silent
      hoping it stops-
Please "Go Away1' I plead,
But my voice is silent
        and the memories
              the pain
              it remains.
want to curl up
      cry..........disappear...
want to be held....
           reassured
          that it will pass.
I am here...physically...
but my hurt
      my heart
is with that little girl
      of long ago
Crying to be loved.

Sharon H.       

ALL IN DUE TIME by Joanne Taylor

     All in due time, is what I always say, for as long as I can remember.

     I have had this life-long dream of getting married. Not just to any man, but the perfect man. He has to have a good paying job (so I would not have to work anymore), be an excellent cook (since I am terrible at it). He has to teach me how to sort laundry (because I throw everything into one washer and pray that they turn out okay). I need him to scratch my back at night so that I don’t have to jump out of bed and look for the back scratcher (my back always itches in a spot where I can’t reach it) He needs to be my electric blanket to keep me warm on those cold winter nights. This will save us money on the heating bill. I expect him to buy me a house where everything is on one floor, with a one car garage since I don’t drive. I will need three bedrooms; one for us, one for the grand kids, and the last one for his mother (I think her room needs to be at the end of the hall); two bathrooms since I have a habit of staying in there for hours at a time. A maid would be nice; to fix my meals while he’s at work, but no dishwasher (I love having my hands in water).

These are just a few things I expect from my husband, but I know this will all happen in due time.

-Joanne Taylor

AT THE END OF MY ROPE by Margie Taylor

             It was March 25^th, 2011. The call came to me. Andy said, “Are you coming home?”

            I said, “Yes.” When Jen came home I left to go home. I bought Andy six packs of Bang Bangs to smoke.

            When I gave them to Andy he said,  “Are you trying to kill me?”

            I said, “No.” I ate dinner after that.  I went down to watch TV.

            Andy was in the chair. He asked me, “Are you going to sleep?”

            I said, “No, we can talk at 9:00pm.”

            Andy’s body shook. He took his last breath. I heard it. He died in front of me.

            That was the end of my rope for me. I found myself asking God a lot of questions like, “Where and why did Andy go?”

-Margie Taylor

TRADING THE SPEAR FOR THE PEN -Jackie Tajiri

Nature is awe - inspiring!  It moves, it destroys and heals.  Behold, the animals!  Be it domestic cat, or a stalking jaguar, there is something otherworldly about them.  My work reflects a desire, not to understand the flora and fauna, but to ‘capture’ it in ink and then release them through words. 

“Through images and the written word, I embark on a journey of spiritual and natural wonder. Ever curious.  Ever exploring.”   

       -Jack Tajiri     

LEAD BALLOON by Kelly Greenwood

 A silenced voice is as useful

as a lead balloon

heavy on the heart

like heaven it weighs a ton

to those who believe in absolution

To absolve, to absorb

the expansion of lungs

burst the eardrums of a god that's listening

higher in pitch than a human can hear

reminds you of times the devil is near

Lunar dust shredding

the windows of pain

the pain in the glass

has made me insane

Absolute power and absolute truth

what a splendid point of view

such a rare and powerful ideal

inflate my chest

like a bullet of hot air

injected into freight trains

and a distant stare

Chasing the horizon

a fine line between now and eternity

somewhere left of center

is where corruption will corrode

best to focus on the target

so as not to explode

I'm a walking bulls eye

blazing like the sun

against a blackened out night

somewhere among the hype

is a beautiful sea

waits with open arms

when absolute power

corrupts absolutely.

-Kelly Greenwood