I...
I be...
I beli...
I believe
I believe
I believe
At a loss
With leaden limbs
Hard to put one foot in front of another
Misplaced vim and vigor
Don't know where to start
How to construct the sentence that is my moment to shine
To be seen
A paragraph of minutes ticking by with no verb
No driving force
No action
No need to move ahead
To believe in something foreign
I believe...
In the negative self-talk
It's always with me
My constant companion
I know it
And it knows me well
I believe in a minuscule way that
I can become acquainted with an uplifting voice
One that says, "It's okay to want,
To need,
To have ambition.
To yearn for passion, joy, and truth."
I believe in the possibility,
But am terrified of the certainty.
It's easy to believe in others
To encourage
Give my time
Nurture
Love
These verbs are not easily applied towards myself
A deep and abiding fear of selfishness and cocky ego abound
Constructing that silent sentence of strong objectives
Intense follow through is challenging to the nth degree
I give into this self-loathing more often than I am willing to admit
I believe...
We are all worthy
We includes me
So I must matter too
I believe...
Life is short
We must make the most of what we've got
It's never too late
Or too soon
Kind of long in coming
My negative voices objections are quashed
They say, "It's too late for you."
I believe...
I say the mantra, "I believe..."
Over and over
Finishing the sentence with "...I am worthwhile
And have a great capacity for happiness and love."
I believe...
I believe...
I believe...
I believe...
I believe..
I believe....
I believe...
I believe...
I be...
I beli...
I be..
b...
-Elizabeth Hipwell
Thursday, February 28, 2013
AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT by ElizabethHipwell
As luck would have it
I had hit a dead end
Once again
Falling back into the nothingness
Of my previous wallowing
Contemplating my loneliness and fear
A failure to proceed
To do
To live
Being ungrateful to the placations
Of those who mean well
But are unable to understand,
Thinking everything can be easily fixed,
Whose motto is "All hands to the pump."
But what do they know about leaden limbs,
Brutality and pain
That wreaks havoc on the psyche
An emotional arthritis which inhibits
Walking to the pump
Let alone gripping it with all my hands
At one time I was pure and unwritten
Ripe as an apple of my eye
Whose possibilities were revered
As clean, crisp, white linen paper
Waiting with anticipation
To be imprinted
A commitment
Without the possibility of turning back
How do I go on
Wearing the weight of my written pages
"If I'd only known then what I know now."
How true that is
I coulda
Woulda
Shoulda
Done this
Done that
Can't change what has already happened
But I can learn
Prevent it from happening again
Be on the look out
One ounce of awareness
Much more valuable than an after-the-fact cure.
Being in it
Awareness of the machinations of the uncivilized and abusive
I can nip it in the bud
Put it in the rear view mirror of my mind
And move on to brighter pastures
In the bosom of the opposite of neglect.
-Elizabeth Hipwell
I had hit a dead end
Once again
Falling back into the nothingness
Of my previous wallowing
Contemplating my loneliness and fear
A failure to proceed
To do
To live
Being ungrateful to the placations
Of those who mean well
But are unable to understand,
Thinking everything can be easily fixed,
Whose motto is "All hands to the pump."
But what do they know about leaden limbs,
Brutality and pain
That wreaks havoc on the psyche
An emotional arthritis which inhibits
Walking to the pump
Let alone gripping it with all my hands
At one time I was pure and unwritten
Ripe as an apple of my eye
Whose possibilities were revered
As clean, crisp, white linen paper
Waiting with anticipation
To be imprinted
A commitment
Without the possibility of turning back
How do I go on
Wearing the weight of my written pages
"If I'd only known then what I know now."
How true that is
I coulda
Woulda
Shoulda
Done this
Done that
Can't change what has already happened
But I can learn
Prevent it from happening again
Be on the look out
One ounce of awareness
Much more valuable than an after-the-fact cure.
Being in it
Awareness of the machinations of the uncivilized and abusive
I can nip it in the bud
Put it in the rear view mirror of my mind
And move on to brighter pastures
In the bosom of the opposite of neglect.
-Elizabeth Hipwell
SCAMPER by Elizabeth Hipwell
I scamper away from the poison
Of toxic people, situations
That cause me to overdose on self-flagellation
Stemming from the fragile skeleton of my patchwork existence
Unspoken
Held in
Waiting to burst out
And paint the world with my pain
Changing to the long-awaited crispness
Of focused pain
Integrated into an open unhindered expression
Of my authentic raw self
Sorrow and content have drifted apart
Turned into a vulnerability
Directed toward deep relations
Anchored into an experience
That is owned by me.
The mysteries of human longevity
Entangled and enticing
Anticipation and patience walking hand in hand.
-Elizabeth Hipwell
Of toxic people, situations
That cause me to overdose on self-flagellation
Stemming from the fragile skeleton of my patchwork existence
Unspoken
Held in
Waiting to burst out
And paint the world with my pain
Changing to the long-awaited crispness
Of focused pain
Integrated into an open unhindered expression
Of my authentic raw self
Sorrow and content have drifted apart
Turned into a vulnerability
Directed toward deep relations
Anchored into an experience
That is owned by me.
The mysteries of human longevity
Entangled and enticing
Anticipation and patience walking hand in hand.
-Elizabeth Hipwell
TINCTURE OF TIME by Jason Townsend
Tincture of time
Changing your luck
Changing your fortune
See bad luck headed your way
Stick your hand down its throat
Be strong, be tough and
Don't give up
See your future
The way you want it to be
Don't settle for anything less
It's the tincture of time
Just let it pass
And it'll see you through
Just like your feet on the grass.
-Jason Townsend
Changing your luck
Changing your fortune
See bad luck headed your way
Stick your hand down its throat
Be strong, be tough and
Don't give up
See your future
The way you want it to be
Don't settle for anything less
It's the tincture of time
Just let it pass
And it'll see you through
Just like your feet on the grass.
-Jason Townsend
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