HAPPILY GAY by Jackie Tajiri

UNBIDDEN by Therese Staples Burton

The words come to me unbidden.
Provoking memories of pain.
Long buried and forgotten in the chasms of my mind.
Released images flash across my eyes.
I lose myself in time,
Sounds of reality fad in my ears.

My breath catches in my chest.
I feel the emptiness after crying,
pierce another hole in my soul.

The words come to me, unbidden.
They thrash against walls of propriety.
Silenced by societal expectations.

Energy surges through me ready to fight.
My body shakes with a need I cannot fulfill.
Frustration builds, reaching, hoping, needing relief.
The solution dances out of my reach.

The words come to me, unbidden.
Taunting me at night, riding me on the train.
I am lost in thoughts I can't explain.
-Therese

"TOO SMART FOR MY OWN GOOD" by Jean Cord

Is it possible
     To use your
Brains
     For no good
Yeah, it is
Misunderstood
I was
     A missile
Unguided
No direction
     No home
In darkness
I roamed
on a path
     Of
self-destruction
I would
Never
Hurt nobody
But
     Myself
Alone
Was the only target
Meant for
Elimination
I was a 
     "Danger to Self"
     "Unsafe"
Why y'all
Stoppin' me
I wanted to
     Die
I really think I
     Just wanted to
Cry
Goin' over the brink
Day after day
Pray
Y'all
That everyone
Can find
     God
Nobody
Deserves
To be condemned
     Today
     Pray
     Y'all
If you do not think
Jesus
     Loves you
Who then
     Do ya think
Pulled you away
     From that brink???!!!
Who 
     Do ya think
Pulled you away
     From the edge???!!!
My doc did it
     For so long
My family
     Pulled me back
A couple of times
     But,
It did not 
Matter
Plan of attack
Brain splatter
I was cryin'
Y'all
I was
     Dyin'
In my
     Body
     Mind
     And my
Spirit
Could I be saved???!!!
With ALL
     The pain
I caused 
     By my own
Hand
I didn't mean it
Was there ANYTHING
     Left to Gain???!!!
Was it worth it
To raise
My head
In the morn'
Was it worth it
For Christ
     Bein' born???!!!
Was it worth His life
     His sacrifice
On the cross
     For ours???!!!
Yeah, y'all
It was worth it
Do you 
     Want to die
Tonight
Why???!!!
Will you be goin'
     To
Heaven or Hell
Fight
Y'all
Stomp
Scream
Let Jesus know
Your need

Tonight

Feed on his word
Listen
     To the words
DO NOT
     GIVE UP!!!!!!
-Jeanne Cord

Fear by Sharon Horton

                                                                   Inside my head
                                                                   I scream " I'm Scared!!"
                                                                   I  say- "I need your help"
                                                                   I whisper " please
                                                                                don't leave....
                                                                   Inside ...I scream, yell,
                                                                        cry...hiding it all...
                                                                  So Afraid that if I let out
                                                                     how I feel...
                                                                  My biggest fear will
                                                                        Come True.....
                                                                 that I will
                                                                            in the end...
                                                                     Be Alone.

                                                                                    by Sharon H.

STILLNESS by Elizabeth Hipwell

Stillness leads to another place.
Stop and notice.
I can get past the fear of what will be there.
Understanding and compassion are key components,
An awareness of the sound of the walls coming down,
To reveal a more pliant world,
Full to capacity with harmony, love and peace.
The flowers buzz with the promise of new growth.
The ions of the air tingle 
In anticipation of what might happen next.
The world in it’s stillness offers endless possibilities
In the span of a second.
Why be afraid of what happens next.
You cannot stop the ebb and flow of life,
But you can get past being scared,
To be on the still shores of calm and serenity.
Stillness does lead to another place.
-Elizabeth Hipwell

IS SHE... by Therese Staples Burton

Is she...

One step from the edge

Poised on the precipice

Ready to take on death

Is she...

Drinking in the Sweet

Breath of caressing wind

Rejuvenating her soul

Inhaling 

Is she...

Dancing with desperation

Catapulting into diving

Is she...

Soaring above all 

Singing Ecstatic rhythms

Image & Words by Therese

FEAR by Beth Polelle

            I was on a platform, ready to catch a train. I was feeling dizzy and felt like I might fall. I grabbed onto someone and said, “Sorry, I’m not feeling well. I feel like I might fall.”

            The lady smiled and said, “That’s all right.”

            The train pulled up. I stepped on the train. I sat down and tried to think of how I was going to get down the stairs. The train pulled in to the stop. I stepped off the train and headed for the stairs. I held onto the railing. I almost fell, but caught myself. I decided I would take the bus to work. As I crossed the street I was fearful. I hurried across the street and caught the bus. I started thinking about all my fears and worried about how I was going to deal with them.
             'I am fearful of a lot of things,' I thought to myself. Fear, to me, is a very scary feeling. I reached my destination. I went to work right away. When I'm at work people are not always in the best mood. Everything has to be done right and at a good pace.
             I don't get out of work until dark. I looked at my coworker and said, "What time do you leave work?"
             She turned to me and said, "Not until 8:30 pm."
             I told her, "That's the time I leave." I went back to my work. I looked at the clock. It was only 7:45, forty five minutes left, fears were creeping up on me. This was the third time I had to leave late.

-Beth Polelle